So, unfortunately, I’ve been sick for the past two months. I’m still not sure with what, and that part is possibly the part that bothers me the most. The symptoms of what I have are pretty bad and it’s interrupted everything in my normal daily routine. The not knowing what I have part of this, sucks because I keep dwelling every hour I have wait for test results to come back, which unfortunately, this being a holiday weekend, is kind of inconvenient because I have to wait longer than I would normally.

I’ve gone back and forth over the past few months of feeling shitty about my situation and feeling lucky that I don’t have something really bad (hopefully) and that I have food, a home, family, friends, and other than whatever I have now, fairly good health. Being grateful for these things has helped me to not dwell on how I’m feeling and how long it is taking me to get better. I wish I reflected on what I have more often, before I got sick, so when I am finally better, I’m definitely going to make an effort to. 

I miss a lot of what my normal day consisted of prior to this but on the positive side, it’s taught me to really pay attention to little things during the day that matter. There’s too many to list but it shouldn’t take getting sick for me, or anyone to pay attention to them, but that’s often how it goes. So as today is Christmas Eve, and I’m thinking about not being able to do anything I want for the holiday, I can think about about all of the past Christmas’ I’ve enjoyed and all the other things I luckily have that others have unfortunately never had. Take clean drinking water for example. That’s something so simple that millions of people don’t get the luxury of. 

I probably won’t be posting on here for a while, but I’m grateful for you guys and tumblr. So until I’m back on here, I hope you guys have a good holiday and see if you can take a few minutes in your day to cherish simple things around you… 

y’know… only if you want.